My Miracle: The Day I Saw Jesus

This past August, 2013, I helped to facilitate the second Christ Renews His Parish retreat at our church.  Without disclosing any of the beautiful gifts that are a part of the experience, I feel like it is time to share a gift that I was personally given during that weekend.  It was my very own miracle.

It was a very emotional weekend for me as I allowed myself to go a bit deeper in my healing process after having Sophia.  Toward the end of the weekend, I was spending some time in the Adoration Chapel by myself.  I had never been alone in front of Our Lord like that before, so closely and intimately.  The Blessed Sacrament was exposed in the Monstrance as it had been all weekend.

Side note:  As Catholics, we believe that Jesus truly is present in the Blessed Sacrament(the host which has been consecrated by the priest).  You can read more about that HERE or HERE.

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{Blessed Sacrament in the Monstrance}

So there I was, only a couple of feet away from Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.  I had been kneeling right in front of Him for a while, praying, crying, but not actually looking at Him.  I have never felt worthy enough to do that.  I moved to a chair nearby, still facing Our Lord but still not looking.  I was still very emotional but was regaining my composure.  I decided for some reason that I needed to have a face-to-face conversation with Jesus.  I figured I may never again get the opportunity to “look Him in the eye” since this was such a rare chance to be so close.  I didn’t want to miss this chance.  Besides, I had a couple things to ask Him.

I raised my eyes to look straight ahead at the Blessed Sacrament in the center of the Monstrance.  As I did this, I was praying that God would give me some answers.  I clearly but quietly stated what I wanted to know, “Will we always struggle financially and will we be blessed with more children?”

What happened next is only something that I can describe as a miracle.  It happened in a matter of minutes, I think, but time truly stood still and I honestly have no idea how much time passed.

As I sat there, before my eyes, the glass covering on the Blessed Sacrament seemed to suck inward, like when you cover something with plastic wrap and it suctions down onto the contents of the dish.  I blinked and kept looking. Something was happening and I was starting to get a bit uneasy.

My eyes had to be playing tricks on me.  I shifted in my seat and took notice of the lighting in the room, it must have been that.  But then I realized that the windows were covered  so the only light in the room was the soft glow of sunlight that could barely pass through the window coverings and several candles that were lit.  It was bright enough that I could see clearly from one side of the room to the other.

I sat there, dumbfounded and kept watching.  Right before my eyes, the face of our Lord began to become clearer and clearer in the inside of the glass until I was literally looking at the perfectly formed face of the suffering Jesus on the cross.  He was looking down to my left and I could clearly see the crown of thorns on his head.  In that same instance, I became overcome with emotion.  My body was wracked with sobs.  I blinked and rubbed my eyes to see more clearly.  I was shaking from head to toe.  I stood up and moved to another part of the room, He was still there.  I moved closer to the Monstrance, He was still there.  I walked to the other side of the room, He was still there.  It didn’t matter where I was in the room, He was still there and He looked exactly like the image I have seen so many times of Him dying on the cross.

What does this mean!?!?  My mind was racing.  Do I go get someone?  What if He’s not there when they look?  What do I do?

Just then, a calm came over me.  I sat down because it felt like I should.  As I sat and continued to look at Jesus’ face, I remembered the question I had asked and thought of it again, “Will we always struggle financially and will we have more children?”

As if someone was in the room and was reading my mind I heard, “Would you need me then?”

WHAT?!!?  What does that mean?  I had no doubt it was God.  The only way I can describe it is that I heard that question with my whole body, not just my ears.  I felt it.

Well that’s just great, now what the heck do I do?

Again, calm.  I sat and just remained there in silence, the whole time, looking at the face of Jesus.

I have no idea how much time passed, probably only a few minutes honestly, before my dear husband came in.  I thought, “Great!  Finally, someone else can see this!”  but at the same time I thought, “Do I even tell anyone or are they going to think I’m crazy!?”   He came over and hugged me and asked how I was doing.  The calm that had washed over me remained as I sat there staring at this very obvious face of Jesus.  Without taking my eyes off of Him, I blurted out, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy but do you see Him?”

There are so many reasons why I love this man.  Without breaking stride whatsoever he simply said, “I don’t see it right now but I also don’t think you’re crazy.  I saw something last weekend too.  I’m not in the same state of grace that you are in right now like I was last weekend.”  You see, he had been through the men’s retreat the weekend before and had this same opportunity as I was having to spend in adoration alone.

We decided, and even pinky-swore, that we would just keep this all to ourselves.  No one else needed to know and we would just consider it a gift meant just for us.  Deal.

Mark then left me alone again, well alone with Jesus that is.  His face was still as clear to me as it had been the entire time.  No sooner had he left the room, our priest walked in.  At this I thought, “Surely this guy will see what I see!” What happened next is somewhat comical.  My eyes were glued to Jesus.  Father stood beside me and said a few things but looked at me.  Then he came and sat near me but kept talking and looking at me.  I’m not sure what he was thinking at this point because I was nodding my head toward the Monstrance as he talked, in the hope that he would look over and see this miracle taking place right in front of us.

HE NEVER LOOKED!!

He finished talking, stood up, covered the Monstrance, picked it up, and proceeded to leave the room with it as it was time for the next part of our retreat.  I sat there for a few seconds just sort of numb and then joined my group again and finished the retreat.  I had no intention of telling anyone about this experience and I knew that Mark would not either.  I tucked it away as an amazing miracle that I was just blessed to experience and thanked God for it.

Fast forward to later that evening.  A small group of friends came back to our home to eat dinner after we all left the church.  The ladies had all been a part of the retreat and were chatting about how things went.  We were all so tired.  I was mindlessly moving things around on the counter while 2 of my girlfriends sat at our kitchen table chatting.  I wasn’t in on the conversation but was listening in as I sat out some food.  I heard one of my friends say to the other, “Did you see anything during Adoration?  I did, and I didn’t want to say anything but I wondered if anyone else did.”

Now, the way I remember this was that I chimed in and said, “What do you mean?” But the way my friends describe is was more like me wide-eyed and shocked saying, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!?”

So my friend goes on to explain that she saw something in the Blessed Sacrament when we were in the chapel as a group.  At this, I couldn’t keep quiet any more.  I spilled it all.  I told them what had happened to me and how I didn’t want to tell anyone because I figured they would think I had lost my marbles!  At that point, I really didn’t care.  I knew then that something miraculous was happening at our church.

Knowing that this miracle was something that I never wanted to forget a second of, I wrote down the details that night.  I even drew a picture of what I saw.

Over the course of the following week, we came find out that there were several of us on both the men’s and women’s weekends that saw visions in the Blessed Sacrament and in other parts of the church.  These things came out in various different conversations that were not connected and were all very unique.  Although we all saw different things, we all saw things that were pertinent to where we are in our lives and things that were most meaningful to each and every one of us in our own way.  True miracles.  It was no surprise to me at all that the image of Jesus I saw was of Him suffering.

I share this with you to give you hope.  I could tell you all about what I believe and why but you may not really understand.  But when I tell you about this experience that I have lived, I pray that you will have a better idea of the truth.  He is real.  I have doubted before.  There is no way I could ever doubt again.  These things don’t just happen.  They are true gifts from Our Father in Heaven.

Since that experience, things have become clearer to me.  At the time, I didn’t understand the answer that I was given to my question about our finances and family.  I can see now what He meant though.  ”Would you need me then?”  If I didn’t have to worry about every penny we earn and spend, would I lean on God as much and trust in His provision?  If I could get pregnant any time I wanted to without having to think twice, would I beg him to help me be patient?  Would I trust Him, lean on Him, NEED him as much as I do now?  Maybe not.  Perhaps He knows me better than I know myself.  In fact, I know He does, because He knows what I need before I need it and He gives me exactly what He knows is best.

I get it now.  He has always provided ways for us to make a little extra money when we need it most.  He has always given me opportunities to fill my arms and heart with babies, even if they are not always my own.  He provides everything I need and then some.  I am so thankful for the miracle that God gave me, but most of all, I am just overwhelmingly thankful for Him.

Happy Easter!

 And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, 
approached, rolled back the stone, and sat upon it.  His appearance was like lightning
and his clothing was white as snow. The guards were shaken with fear of him
and became like dead men. Then the angel said to the women in reply,
“Do not be afraid!
I know that you are seeking Jesus the crucified.
He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said.
Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples,
‘He has been raised from the dead, 
and he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him.’
Behold, I have told you.”

Matthew 28:  2-7

~Maria

4 comments to My Miracle: The Day I Saw Jesus

  • Mary

    Wow! Just. WOW! Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  • Louise

    Maria, you are a true blessing \o/ This so explains, WHY you face simply LIT UP, last Sunday, while you were holding baby Emma Richie <3 Thank you for blessing ME, when you turned, at the Sign of peace, to SMILE, at me \o/ God Bless you, my dear, sweet friend, and THANK YOU for sharing your heart \o/

  • Mary Colby

    This witness gave me the chills. I made a CRHP
    weekend a few years back. I could totally relate to
    This witness. There were so many times during the
    Weekend that our Deacon refers to as God moments.
    I prayed during my CRHP that my youngest son would
    make a CRHP weekend. He’d been away from church
    for awhile. I never thought this would happen. Well, it
    did happen and he has since been on 5 teams to make
    CRHP weekends. God was truly with me that first weekend.

  • Laurie Singletary

    Came across your story looking for something online. Wow-what an encounter with Our Lord and Savior. Thank you for sharing it.

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