infant loss

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For the past 18 months I have often wondered what “normal” means. What does that even look like? After losing Sophia, our life as a family of 4 has seemed to be anything but normal.  Though I’m not sure what normal really means for us, there are a few things about it that I do

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In memory of Sophia’s first birthday in Heaven, we decided to do something sweet to help other families that may experience something like the loss that we had.  I remember in the hospital preparing to deliver Sophia and panicking because I didn’t even have a blanket to wrap her in.  I felt terrible to not

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July 6, 2013, was our dear Sophia’s first birthday in Heaven.  It is so hard to believe that a year has gone by already. Sometimes it seems like it was so long ago that we held that sweet little girl.  Other times it feels like it was just yesterday. I had no idea exactly what

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We are coming upon Sophia’s first birthday in heaven and all that comes along with a milestone like that. Last week, Lilly and I were in the garden when we both noticed that one of our zinnias had opened.  We looked at each other at the very same time and just knew… This little patch

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As a memorial gift when we had Sophia, my siblings gave us a gift card towards a tree to plant in her memory.  We picked a Burgundy Hearts Red Bud tree and it was planted yesterday. It will be full of light purple flowers in the early spring and the rest of the year we

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In light of my last 2 posts I feel the need to clear the air a bit. When I read blogs I sort of get an overall picture of the person writing it.  In general I tend to read ones about homeschooling, homesteading, parenting, and faith.  In reading those blogs, I often have to remind

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Even though 9 months have passed since we had/lost Sophia, I still have no idea what I am doing.  I still don’t understand how to do this.  I struggle with knowing where to go from here.  I struggle with knowing just how much people want to hear about her, or how little.  I struggle with

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Dear Sophia, My sweet, baby girl, I miss you so much.  It seems like just when I’ve come to grips with the fact that you are not here with us, another milestone comes up and it just makes me mad and sad all over again.  Not mad at you.  Just mad because I am selfish

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Distracting myself with writing about other topics here has been a welcome break lately.  Not that I really need to be distracted though, that comes pretty naturally anymore.  Multi-tasking is kicking my behind most days.  But I keep trudging along; living, breathing, eating, sleeping, teaching, loving, praying, hugging, crying, talking, reading, rinse and repeat. I realized

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Finding Hope and Healing (With or Without a Rainbow) For this post, we will share our experiences with longing for another baby to fill our empty arms. Some experienced a subsequent pregnancy after loss. Some may be fearful of embarking on that journey again. Some may not be able to have another child, whether due